Old Fashioned Dating vs. Internet Dating | |
Old Fashioned: | Your friends hang out with you because you don't want to spend Friday night alone. |
Internet Dating: | Your friends email you because they don't want to spend Friday night alone with you. |
Old Fashioned: | Your best friend introduces you to a guy, she says she works with him. |
Internet Dating: | Your best friend introduces you to the internet, she says you can access it from work. |
Old Fashioned: | You hope you meet a guy at the theatre, or a book store...an intellectual with a nice smile. |
Internet Dating: | Yeah, right, like you want to date the phone repair man or the cable guy...a beer guzzler with a butt crack. |
Old Fashioned: | You go to a club to meet guys, $5.00 cover charge. |
Internet Dating: | You go on the internet to meet guys, $24.95/month. |
Old Fashioned: | You hate being hit on by every guy who walks by, you think it's a meat market. |
Internet Dating: | You love that you've been browsed by 500 guys and you think you're popular. |
Old Fashioned: | You see a guy you think is attractive, you think he looks young and you watch his "body language". |
Internet Dating: | You see a guy you think is attractive, you wonder how old the picture is and are curious why he left out his body. |
Old Fashioned: | You get turned off by the guys who are hitting on all the attractive women on the dance floor. |
Internet Dating: | EVERY guy is hitting on all the attractive women on line. |
Old Fashioned: | A guy says hello, and for the next 45 minutes he only talks to you. |
Internet Dating: | A guy sends you an email, and also sends one to about 17 other women. |
Old Fashioned: | You ask about his job, hobbies, marriages, family - - it's called conversation. |
Internet Dating: | You pretty much already know his job, hobbies, marital history, family - - it's called profile browsing. |
Old Fashioned: | He offers to buy you a drink, and everyone else thinks he's with you. |
Internet Dating: | He types "brb. going to get a beer" and is really reading another email. |
Old Fashioned: | He says he is going to the restroom, and as you watch him walk away he doesn't stop to talk to anyone. |
Internet Dating: | He says he's going to the restroom, but he's really busy browsing another profile and responding to it. |
Old Fashioned: | He asks you for your phone number and wants to know if you'd like to go out sometime. |
Internet Dating: | He asks for your phone number and tries to squeeze you in between the other two dates he's made. |
Old Fashioned: | You give him your number and tell him you you'd love to go out. |
Internet Dating: | You ask for his number and tell him you're just looking for friends right now. |
Old Fashioned: | You never really cared about how much he made, if he owned a home, or where he lived as long as he was nice. |
Internet Dating: | Nice guys finish last...show me the money! |
Old Fashioned: | He's not very tall, but you've got to hand it to him - he's pleasant to talk to. |
Internet Dating: | He's not at least 5'10", oh please - talk to the hand. |
Old Fashioned: | He calls you the next week, and you both talk for hours. |
Internet Dating: | You call him the next week, and you can't believe he talked for hours. |
Old Fashioned: | You'd like to go out with him because, hey, "nobody's knocking down your front door" to ask you out. |
Internet Dating: | You're not sure about going out with him because, hey, "the grass is always greener" and someone else may ask you out. |
Old Fashioned: | You go out on a date, and he brings you a single rose...you think he's romantic. |
Internet Dating: | You go out on a date, and he's nothing like the guy who left you little smiley faces...you wonder where the romance is. |
Old Fashioned: | You go to dinner, then head to the beach and talk for hours sitting under the stars. You get home at 1:00 am. |
Internet Dating: | You heat up some leftover stew, then head to the computer and chat for hours under a desk lamp. You log off at 1:53 am. |
Old Fashioned: | You had a lot of fun, and when you get home you wonder if he left you a phone message saying, "I had a great time". |
Internet Dating: | You were bored out of your mind, and when you get home you wonder if someone else left you an email message saying, "I really liked your profile". |
Old Fashioned: | You call your best friend and tell her about your date, then go to bed and dream beautiful dreams. |
Internet Dating: | You email your best friend and tell her about the jerk you met, then go to your profile and add another picture. |
Old Fashioned: | He calls you within a day or two and you're excited that he likes you. |
Internet Dating: | He calls you within a day or two and you're worried that he likes you too much. |
Old Fashioned: | You take your time getting to know him, eventually you realize that you have a lot in common...and you're really glad you met him. |
Internet Dating: | You don't have time to get to know him, eventually you realize he isn't perfect...and you're glad you didn't "settle". |
Old Fashioned: | After a few months you start thinking about your future and what you want to get out of this relationship. |
Internet Dating: | After a few months you start thinking about your future and get out your credit card to renew your account. |
Old Fashioned: | Your best friend calls you and says, "hey, see if he has a friend so we can double-date sometime". |
Internet Dating: | Your best friend emails you and says, "hey, there's also Yahoo and Match.com, and PlentyofFish.com is FREE". |
Old Fashioned: | You think to yourself, "I'm glad I met the man of my dreams". |
Internet Dating: | You think to yourself, "Why can't I meet the man of my dreams?". |
This parody brought to you by an Old Fashioned guy via the Internet. |